Thursday, November 26, 2009

What I've heard.

Was driving in the car today, not too sure whether its a coincidence or just its a signal from one above. Whenever I was thinking about something, He will be there to reply me.

The radio DJ was discussing on this topic, [erm] your feelings? She read out of the message sent by the audience saying you always get confused feelings of someone you like. Not knowing whether you should be happy or angry at a same time. In the end, you ended up emotional. Well, the only way out was to able to let things go easily.
I think for most guys, no matter how good you are in a handling a relationship, it always seem that you will always fall into the same trap. You know its gonna end bad, but there's always that little hope driving you, you somehow believe that little tiny percentage of hope might be just all it takes to make it through. It most circumstances, you are lying to yourself. I was hurt pretty badly in my first one, and sometimes you worried of too much of things when what comes next.
[Hmm] Maybe its just the environment that I'm exposed to, I heard more guys got hurt rather than girls nowadays, or maybe it's just me that over magnify the issue. Anyway, I still stick to my statement. Arguements are most welcome.

I sat down today thinking of what've I been through so far, and what I'm in NOW. Yes, it's true, friends comes and goes, never thought I would actually missed some of my friends. I've three friends that I trusted the most till now, one common thing in the is they have a same surname, LEE, and another one CHU. Actually, my exhousemates are really great people, somehow I felt the gap is getting larger. There are four of them, each with their really unique personality. ONE was really quiet, somehow the way he acted to be not caring, but you know he cares. ONE sometime I felt he kept his distance, but he cares and sensitive of the people around him, he portray cares in a different way. When you are down, he is the right person to go to cause he won't really care about your problem, making you feel less weak, cause there weren't really a big problem. TWO others was really good listener and analyzer, they listen and give constructive comments, once its all out, you felt less burdened.

Not everyone can be a good listener, I think most of us would agree on that too. A good listener makes you talk and feel safe to share. If you feel unsafe and insecure, words can hardly come out. I lost faith, I lost confidence in what I believe. I need to stay strong, otherwise ....

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Friday, November 20, 2009

That's about it. Its THE END

[AHHHH...][Scream!!!] I swear to myself, this would never happen again.

Eventhough sometimes i looked strong on the outside, but my heart and soul is fragile. There's one thing good, cause probably in another few month times, and when i looked back to this post, I will feel what I've wrote here is pretty silly.

I walked very far today, nearly a 2 hours walk, thought a lot about what I've been doing. Walk alone without any burden. Walking through the streets as if I were invisible and observing things around me. Walking to discover there's a whole new big world and we were just that small tiny little portion. I'm rational, and I know what's right and what's wrong, but when I fell into this emotion trap. Thought of what I supposed to do go weak.

There's actually one very specific issue which had been bothering me. As I walk, I talked to myself, [don't have much listeners nowadays] I hesitated, I feel relunctant, but I know I need to do this, that I need to stay away from you, it gave me deep cut everytime I see it happens.

*Don't drop me cold comments, and I think you know who you are. It's not funny.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Monday, November 16, 2009

Happy Birthday

[Hmm] How do I start?

When it comes to my own birthday, I'm always in a lost in what I wanted to do. Just wish that there will be someone standing just right there, guiding me in how i should respond and react. Few days ago, my housemate set up on a surprise birthday celebration for me. Eventhough we did not know each other for long, but still they spend so much time planning and getting cakes for me, it's just something beyond all the things that I was hoping for. I was touched and at the same time felt blessed with love and care.

My family called earlier today. Just to wish me Happy Birthday, I was happy enough. Each and every year they are sure to be the first to greet me. Although there wasn't any celebration, but a simple wishes is more than all we ever wanted. They sounded even more excited than me myself.

It's almost 4am now, and I'm still writing here. Not wanting to go to bed, eventhough I have to wake up early for a morning class at 9am. I'm not sad, or moody or down, but just not as happy as I thought I would be. I'm feeling that emptiness again, something's missing, or am I just expecting too much. I need to do something to fill myself up. First time to lose direction during my birthday.

One thing good about facebook, it helps to remind people of your birthday. Even if its just a simple wish, it helps to fill up your day.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Figure Sketching Muscle Form

Progression very slow. =.="

Sunday, November 8, 2009

First Attempt @ Album Cover Design

Though its not as perfect as I can imagine, however I'm quite happy with these few final outcome. Stay FOCUS.