Tuesday, August 11, 2009

It's All Wrong!

Things had been pretty rough for me recently, especially this week. Not making the right decision at the right time really cause me a lot, not only financial and physical wise, but also what I've put first in my life. Guess that there will always be up and downs. Things went pretty well for the last month and even the last last month. Well, I have reached the down part.

I was very thankful and grateful for having some of my friends that read my blog to leave some supporting comments to keep me moving. I was really off track, my performance at work were really effected badly. However, thanks again. All those words are really useful for me now.

Should I or should I not? This is the most frequent question that I have been dealing this week. However, I got it all wrong at all time. Should I take this decision? What are the outcomes? How hard will it impact me? Am I able to handle it? Some people say it's all due to my previous workload that made me stressed and tired now, which it now lead to an emotional unstable state. It might be true some part, but I do not know what are exactly the real cause. But there's things that bothered me.

I shouldn't have let it out. I wanted to but I shouldn't. It's definitely not the right decision. Hate and Love are both very contradictory feeling. When these two things come together, it's like a war zone in your head. Hate and love somebody at the same time is the last thing you want to have. I am not even sure where do I stand. Having heartache knowing the story ends here.

I will be required to make another decision now. Should I or should I not? Another wrong decision will cause me a lot more. [It's regarding my house rental, just to avoid any misinterpretation].

I'm sick again, hope its not H1N1 and get the people around me infected by me. [If things were a little smoother...]
*I'm not complaining about my life. I knew there were people facing far more worst situation than me, but this is the only place I could be soft on myself.


Lex said...

Brother all you need now is 2 things. 1st - A Chocolate Indulgence cake from secret recipe and 2nd - a Wii console to whack and vent the frustration on virtual stuff.

Zhiqin said...

Yea...I definitely need both of those... too bad no one is really willingly to accompany me for those. Going alone its not really something I want now...haha...