2009 My Life Review

It's one hell of a year, what people say it's quite true, you can remember the bad stuff more than the good stuff. Well, when I think back of all the major and minor events happen throughout this year in my life, I can't think much of those good ones. It had been quite a sad year.

January
-Was preparing very hard with my previous housemate for one of my largest event. Not really going through any sleepless night, have the time to sleep, but too much things to worry that kept u awake.
-Chinese New Year, managed to go out with secondary school classmates, but just for a short while, being summoned by my dad for work.
-Failed one engineering paper, can't remember what subject.

February
-Handling 4 days event, almost killed myself with loads of pressure and tension for E-Week.
-Got second combo hit by my ex for sending me a letter.

March
- Say farewell to a good friend at the airport.
- Drop out from University.
- Depression.
- Played a lot of badminton. Luckily there's a group of friend which were so addicted to it, kept me move on.

April
- Once in a lifetime trip with 2 friends, to Ipoh, Penang, KL, Camerons. Unforgettable moments.
- Volunteering in a orphanage home.
- Did some traveling to clear minds.
- Screwed up some good friendship, send a very harsh email and fug people up.

May
- Start new life at new college, see new people, experience new environment.
- Know some great people, yuri, yipin, weijia.
- Celebrated friend's birthday.

June
- Exploring a lot with friends.
- Car kena saman for stupid reasons.
- Bad time with landlord.
- Stay awake overnight to understand a stupid documentary for history project.

July
- First durian buffet with friends.
- Helped a friend in a relationship proposal, got warnings from authorities.

August
- Did a lot of Presentation for final work.
- President of history of arts and design 1.
- Attend a friend birthday gathering, house was extraordinarily huge.
- Travel
- Had farewell with one of the greatest teacher of my life, pinky.
- screwed up a good friendship, too late to regret. Got asked to stay away from her life, still doing it now. Never talked since then.
- Coloured my hair.

September
- Got screwed by house owner for no reasons. Shifted into another room in another house.
- Semester 2 begins with interesting subjects, nanowhite, pavillion.
- day trip to a park for assignment purposes.
- Still not able to talk with that friend. Too afraid to provoke her again.

October
- First participation in Holloween Dressing up competition.
- Fell for a girl and she found out in less than a week time.
- More missundestanding happens.
- PJS 9 Autumn Festival Gathering with friends.
- Dinner at THE BIRD.

November
- My 20th Birthday, having the most number of cakes in my life.Many surprises.
- Attended 5th Annual Photography Camp.
- "Soul Gear" movie production. Great time, but made wrong decision and caused a friend to feel deeply miserable.

December
- Screwed up another friendship. [It's like a curse, I had to lose a friend every end of the semester, and its all my fault]
- Travel with friends, forced myself to stay positive at all times.
- Never learn to miss all my classmates till the day we are going to separate. CD0905-2 best class in my life.

At the end of all these, I'm physically and mentally tired and exhausted, at times felt ignored and left out. Counting in this one year, how many friends had I destroyed?
Having a very quiet phone this holiday. Missed the sound of sms alerts or ringing tones.
Today's the last day of the year, hoping for a better start for the upcoming year, hope I can write a happier post, hope I could be a better person.

Topsy Turvy World

I'm in a topsy turvy world.

It's all I could say.

Soul Gear

What I've heard.

Was driving in the car today, not too sure whether its a coincidence or just its a signal from one above. Whenever I was thinking about something, He will be there to reply me.

The radio DJ was discussing on this topic, [erm] your feelings? She read out of the message sent by the audience saying you always get confused feelings of someone you like. Not knowing whether you should be happy or angry at a same time. In the end, you ended up emotional. Well, the only way out was to able to let things go easily.
I think for most guys, no matter how good you are in a handling a relationship, it always seem that you will always fall into the same trap. You know its gonna end bad, but there's always that little hope driving you, you somehow believe that little tiny percentage of hope might be just all it takes to make it through. It most circumstances, you are lying to yourself. I was hurt pretty badly in my first one, and sometimes you worried of too much of things when what comes next.
[Hmm] Maybe its just the environment that I'm exposed to, I heard more guys got hurt rather than girls nowadays, or maybe it's just me that over magnify the issue. Anyway, I still stick to my statement. Arguements are most welcome.

I sat down today thinking of what've I been through so far, and what I'm in NOW. Yes, it's true, friends comes and goes, never thought I would actually missed some of my friends. I've three friends that I trusted the most till now, one common thing in the is they have a same surname, LEE, and another one CHU. Actually, my exhousemates are really great people, somehow I felt the gap is getting larger. There are four of them, each with their really unique personality. ONE was really quiet, somehow the way he acted to be not caring, but you know he cares. ONE sometime I felt he kept his distance, but he cares and sensitive of the people around him, he portray cares in a different way. When you are down, he is the right person to go to cause he won't really care about your problem, making you feel less weak, cause there weren't really a big problem. TWO others was really good listener and analyzer, they listen and give constructive comments, once its all out, you felt less burdened.

Not everyone can be a good listener, I think most of us would agree on that too. A good listener makes you talk and feel safe to share. If you feel unsafe and insecure, words can hardly come out. I lost faith, I lost confidence in what I believe. I need to stay strong, otherwise ....

Camera Sick @ My Drawings

That's about it. Its THE END

[AHHHH...][Scream!!!] I swear to myself, this would never happen again.

Eventhough sometimes i looked strong on the outside, but my heart and soul is fragile. There's one thing good, cause probably in another few month times, and when i looked back to this post, I will feel what I've wrote here is pretty silly.

I walked very far today, nearly a 2 hours walk, thought a lot about what I've been doing. Walk alone without any burden. Walking through the streets as if I were invisible and observing things around me. Walking to discover there's a whole new big world and we were just that small tiny little portion. I'm rational, and I know what's right and what's wrong, but when I fell into this emotion trap. Thought of what I supposed to do go weak.

There's actually one very specific issue which had been bothering me. As I walk, I talked to myself, [don't have much listeners nowadays] I hesitated, I feel relunctant, but I know I need to do this, that I need to stay away from you, it gave me deep cut everytime I see it happens.

___________________________________________________________________
*Don't drop me cold comments, and I think you know who you are. It's not funny.

There goes our reputation. =.="

Happy Birthday

[Hmm] How do I start?

When it comes to my own birthday, I'm always in a lost in what I wanted to do. Just wish that there will be someone standing just right there, guiding me in how i should respond and react. Few days ago, my housemate set up on a surprise birthday celebration for me. Eventhough we did not know each other for long, but still they spend so much time planning and getting cakes for me, it's just something beyond all the things that I was hoping for. I was touched and at the same time felt blessed with love and care.

My family called earlier today. Just to wish me Happy Birthday, I was happy enough. Each and every year they are sure to be the first to greet me. Although there wasn't any celebration, but a simple wishes is more than all we ever wanted. They sounded even more excited than me myself.

It's almost 4am now, and I'm still writing here. Not wanting to go to bed, eventhough I have to wake up early for a morning class at 9am. I'm not sad, or moody or down, but just not as happy as I thought I would be. I'm feeling that emptiness again, something's missing, or am I just expecting too much. I need to do something to fill myself up. First time to lose direction during my birthday.

One thing good about facebook, it helps to remind people of your birthday. Even if its just a simple wish, it helps to fill up your day.

Figure Sketching Muscle Form

Progression very slow. =.="

First Attempt @ Album Cover Design

Though its not as perfect as I can imagine, however I'm quite happy with these few final outcome. Stay FOCUS.

Me

Whatever

You know when you're so annoyed with people, and you just hope to shut them up. This is just the right way to do it. Watch this.

Beautifully Imperfect

Imperfection that made him just the perfect one for her.

A Worth of Sacrifice

A heart of god.

Memoir

For so many times, I tried to learn from my mistakes, and not to take any action with emotianal influences. I think I had made quite a good job for the past few months. Well, apart from one issue that I screwed up. No regrets for that one, cause its things that I want to say.

Can't remember when, but its quite recent that I told one of my previous friend that I wanted to talk to her, thought I'm ready and mature that I should really leave what's in the past, in the past. Then, I was told she was busy, thinking probably it wouldn't be a nice time to talk to. So, I just gave up my intention.
On 6th September, she sent me a email, said she heard from that friend that I wanted to talk to her, and she included her new phone number. My heart was shaken, though its nothing much.

I think I still always wanted to fall back in those arms, kept thinking it's still the same place like how it was last time. We've all changed. She said things that are quite true, we are both from disparate background and mindset. The thing that always remind me of how different we are now is her blog. The only we are in common is we both have our own perception of many things. Its like having two protons to fuse, the closer it goes, the harder it repel. It will never end up in the same place.

I'm a very very sensitive person. It does me good, and it does me bad sometimes. The more sensitive I'm, the more I feel, the more I care.

CANON PhotoMarathon @ Sunway Lagoon Theme Park

Calling for all Canon Camera users! One of the most well known and recognised photo competition is back for the third consecutive years. Though this is only my first time knowing such event is being organised. The details of the photo marathon are as follows:

Date: 10th October 2009
Venue : Sunway Lagoon Theme Park (Elephant Walk Entrance)
Time: 7am till 11pm
Fee: Canon Camera Users ~ Free
Others ~ RM30

T-shirt will be given to all participants.

Further info, check it out @ http://www.canon-asia.com/photomarathon2009/

Tabasco Sauce Advertisement Poster

1st Draft
-A little boring, need find better pepper posture.
- composition to be improve.
- ideas.

Home Assignment Listing dated 17th September 2009(4)

Subject: Design 2
Course Outline

Assignment(dated 15/9/09) :
Paper Sculpture
Requirement:
Minimum A3 size.

Submission: 29th September 09

Home Assignment Listing dated 17th September 2009(3)

Subject: Language for Communication and Design 2
Course Breakdown
Professional Practise (10%)
Presentation 1 (10%)
Presentation 2 (10%)
Midterm Assessment (20%)
Final (20%)
Presentation 3 (30%)

Assignment(dated 8/9/09) :
Presentation 1 (E1)

Select a product which is drink related. Design a poster, develope with Claude Hopkins style. (For instance, "Drink an Orange") To include Benefits, Features, and Supports.

Testbook Assignment: Pg 66 Section 2, 4 and 5.

Home Assignment Listing dated 17th September 2009(2)

Subject: History of Art and Design 2
Course Breakdown
Test 1 (20%)
Test 2 (20%)
Project 1 (20%) Individual
Project 2 (30%) Group
Professional Practise (10%)

Assignment(dated 14/9/09) :
Essay Writing
Note : Hand Written.

Write about what do you think it will be like in the next 10 years, 100 years and 1000 years ahead. Bare in mind that there should be a rational behind these ideas of the future.
Choose 2 to be written in essay in at least 300 words, and another 1 in a hand drawn picture.
Answers should be written in the papers given as below.

Home Assignment Listing dated 17th September 2009

[Ehh...] Listing homework here in my blog seems to be something interesting to do. At least, [hmm] I get to update my blog more frequently. It's like integrating work into hobbies,[ehhh...] or maybe hobbies into work. Anyway, [yeap] that's what I'm going to do here.

____________________________________________________________________
Monday: Letterforms and Calligraphy
Course Breakdown
Weekly Assignment --- 40%
Final Project ---------- 40%
Test ------------------ 10%
Professional Practise -- 10%

Assignment(dated 14/9/09) :
50 Pictures (Lowest resolution) of objects which may look like alphaberts.
[15] taken indoors.
[35] taken outdoors.
==> To be printed out on A4 sized paper, coloured, roughly 20 photos in one page* as long it's viewable.

Week 3
-History and Origins of Lettering and Calligraphy.
-Anatomy character structure and character measurement.
To be submitted next lesson after raya:
1. Summary of History and Origins of Lettering and Calligraphy.
2. Visual Examples.
3. History timeline, notes, and research of anatomy character structure. (500words)

Things to bring :
1. Carpenter Pencil, Big Cutter
2. Layout Pad, Metal Ruler.

Roti Babi @ Yut Kee Kopitiam

French Toast, taste better than old town.

Roti Babi, customer's favourite, a must dish when dining in.

Chicken Chop Kopitiam Style

Roast Pork Wrap, only availale on certain days, weekends.

Ahh, back on those days where went food hunting with a bunch of friends. It's definitely a good day, [yea...] spending time with great people and great food, with many great photos taken. [Hmm] This kopitiam is located at Dang Wangi, near Dang Wangi Police Station. Most of the food are good, people are queing in long lines just to get a seat inside this shop. It's a very old coffee shop style, you know... they do it the traditional way, to enhance the food they served. [And Yeah] For roti babi, you need to be early, it usually sold out at around 11am. :-)

Sushi Special

Just started to get my engine warm up, here comes my second pit stop. This has been the second week of my second semester. And yeah, sorry for the lack of updates in my blog. Was about to give it up. Please don't mind about all my previous post tagged with personal label. Those was silly and stupid. That's how fragile I'm when my engine got overheated. Things just go haywire. But no worries, upgraded my engine, and installed few performance accessories before the new season starts. Now, its just about staying focus and grab hold of all opportunity and chances to strive for the first, The One.

Well, to mark the start of the semester. I shall declare this special sushi made by my housemate, zhe hui a.k.a. erob, sushi master chef of PJS9, as my official circuit snack for this season. [:p]

What was I THINKING??!! good intention my balls!

I'm very sorry. Hope its not too late.

Comments anyone?

I've changed definitely. In a way, I m asking myself, it is a good change? or is the other way? Another part of me, thinking that I should be confident with myself, there's nothing to ask opinion from other people. It's always your decision in the end. I've done something, which I felt I should but and bad at the same time. I started to actually throw opinion on people, however its only to certain people which i think worth throwing my advice and comments. Well, am I eligible of doing it? Does my word make sense?
Sometimes people comment on the things I said, debating, I always run out of words to get my points up to the top. There's many factors which lead me to said such things, but I can't find a solid reasons out. I've done what I've done, yes, I'm regretful, but I think I will be more regretful if I just keep all those to myself. Hoping with my good intentions, it will change the interpretation of my message. I'm worried, worried of so many things. Worried most of something that I do not want to lose. Response was bad.

The higher you fly, the harder you drop. My aim was high, when I fall, I fall bad. I always wanted to know how people thinks about me. Don't tell me the good, I want to know my bad...

Still waiting.

Had been spending 2 days in A1, became one of my private office already, it's a really comfortable workstation. With its free air-conditioner, large table space, material stock just down stairs(Vision Art), well cant find any better place than this.

I think most of you here reading my previous posts, knows that I'm not doing so well recently. [sigh] Things are still the same for the day. After my late dinner with weijia, mel, and wailun, came back home and got another kick from my landlord. Apparently, my neighbouring room housemate broke the sink in the toilet. Uncle accused that the floor was too slippery, and again accused I didn't clean the floor together with my housemate, causing algaes to grow. No choice, had to listen to his lectures, even it's not me who broke the blardy sink. [Not blaming my housemate, I actually worried whether is he okay, cause its really dangerous.] However, you know what's the next thing the uncle said, "No choice lorr, I've to fix the sink tomorrow, and charge our friend here." [=.="]

Instead of being more sincere making sure my housemate is alright, he just worrying about the money. [Sigh] Felt bad for my housemate, and I offered if we can share the cost. [Hmm, guess he would be too embaress to actually share the cost with me] The thing is.... you know why I wanted to shift.

Things are still on the down side. Hoping to meet the rising part soon, however, after sharing my problems with my friends, I actually felt much better. Thanks weijia, wailun and mel for that. At least I m not feeling that bad, cause telling things out allows me to rearrange the things in my mind, and solve the issue clearly. I was pretty shocked that someone who spend so less of his time with me, willing to spend the time and come out with me. Nice person to share problems with, at least showing that he cares. Some people just appear invisible when you need them.

Maybe I m jumping too fast to a conclusion for a judgement. However, this is the time I need friends with me the most to keep me companied and help me through. Thanks again and appreciate the night. :-)

It's All Wrong!

Things had been pretty rough for me recently, especially this week. Not making the right decision at the right time really cause me a lot, not only financial and physical wise, but also what I've put first in my life. Guess that there will always be up and downs. Things went pretty well for the last month and even the last last month. Well, I have reached the down part.

I was very thankful and grateful for having some of my friends that read my blog to leave some supporting comments to keep me moving. I was really off track, my performance at work were really effected badly. However, thanks again. All those words are really useful for me now.

Should I or should I not? This is the most frequent question that I have been dealing this week. However, I got it all wrong at all time. Should I take this decision? What are the outcomes? How hard will it impact me? Am I able to handle it? Some people say it's all due to my previous workload that made me stressed and tired now, which it now lead to an emotional unstable state. It might be true some part, but I do not know what are exactly the real cause. But there's things that bothered me.

I shouldn't have let it out. I wanted to but I shouldn't. It's definitely not the right decision. Hate and Love are both very contradictory feeling. When these two things come together, it's like a war zone in your head. Hate and love somebody at the same time is the last thing you want to have. I am not even sure where do I stand. Having heartache knowing the story ends here.

I will be required to make another decision now. Should I or should I not? Another wrong decision will cause me a lot more. [It's regarding my house rental, just to avoid any misinterpretation].

I'm sick again, hope its not H1N1 and get the people around me infected by me. [If things were a little smoother...]
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*I'm not complaining about my life. I knew there were people facing far more worst situation than me, but this is the only place I could be soft on myself.

Blardy bastard retarded landlord

Just as I was done with my previous post, went out and came back after a short meal. Another storm just broke into my room.

I just returned into my room for about 5minutes, Mel was here with me. He bought some ice for the air-cooler. Since the ice was all sticking together, he just sort of knock it on the carpet 3 times continuously. Not even really knock, its just dropping it from the knee height on a carpet. Imagine what are the consequences.

I was in the toilet, wetting a piece of cloth, so that I could wipe my table. Suddenly, someone knocked my door. Apparently, is the fucking asshole blardy retarded bastard landlord. He came and accused me that I made a lot of noise. And I asked what noise did u hear? He said its from my room. Asking me what am I doing. I said I am wiping my table.
U know what he added? He said he confirm its from my room, he said he even stand outside my room for a while, and went down to the living room to listen what sound was that. What the heck? you feel the bullshit he is talking about? just 3 knocks he manage to leave his room while he was playing his play station[what kind of old man is this?!] then ran over to the living room and ran back up and listened silently in front of my door room. [wow...]
Seriously, I was really careful with my volume. I didnt even turned on the music. Wiping the table does not cause any noise.
He came in and started to lecture, and said this "you look at your fucking face in the mirror... eyes all dark and pucat, trust me larr albert...sleep." Fuck him man, if I had the time to sleep, who wouldn't? And the thing is I'm not wasting my time for uneccesary entertainment. I'm rushing my work for most of the time. And the way he said was really disrespecting, and kept asking me to listen to him.

I respected him at first, he kept asking me to listen to his advice and be like him. Well, I didnt mind much at first. But now, he totally ruin his own reputation. I try my best to tolerate, thinking that I should respect him. Controlling whatever that I m doing, even my parents dont do that. Even cooking a pack of maggi is so much of a trouble. Usually how do you guys cook maggi? I thought boiling water in a pot first, once its boilt, throw in the noodles and the flavouring. That's all right? Well, he is much of a trouble. "No no no...don't waste the gas." boil the water in the electric water boiler first, once the water boilt, pour into the pot...bla bla bla...
what the heck? electric free? [later on I just realize maybe he dont have to pay for the electric since he is collecting such a high rental from us. while gas he is paying himself. fuck]

What made me so upset is he used suck language to talk to me. I'm really considering to shift, really need to pass the message to people not to stay at this house. Blardy bastard. one word i call, RETARDED.

Things are turning down

Just when I thought things are fine and peace, [sigh] ....

It always don't last long...

It had been awhile since my last posting, loads of assignments and projects are heavy pressuring my body and mind. However, this is not the problem. I enjoyed doing my work.

I find it hard to trust people, probably due to the previous scar which is still clearly carved in my heart. Some say, "A scar in the mind, might be easy to forget, but a scar in the heart stays forever." Well, that scar is in my heart.
Thought that I learned my lesson and knew to handle these things better here in my new environment. Yet, another failure. Apart from not being able to hold firm to my policies and goals, I tend to still be my old self. Nothing much change, other than my new hair cut, and even just the hair cut, I don't feel comfortable with it.
There's many things that I wanted to share, just made me realize I'm all by myself. I'm not seeking for sympathy and I'm not sad or disappointed for not having anyone. I still have my family, just that I'm staying a distance away from them now.

There's many things in my mind, find it really hard to get it out. Furthermore, knowing my blog will be read by some of my friends around me, I had to find ways to spill my feelings. Truthfully, right now, I'm feeling disappointment, cheap, and upset. You might find it hard to believe when I said I feel alone, cause there's always people looking for me. Well, people find me when they need, I'm nothing afterthat. I'm quite fed up with this, but I just cant stand seeing people having hardtime and I'm not doing anything. [sigh]

Damn it, I have been saying these for so many times.

The main point is, there's another matter starting to leave a mark, still unsure whether it will be in the heart or mind, but I'm definitely feeling the pain in my heart now.

Pop-up Cards (Mock Piece)

Futuristic Airport Design
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*Final Project Piece. This is the non-colored version. Actual completed version should be out soon.

World Worst Portrait Artist

This is my most feared subject, I'm very bad at drawing portraits, sketching, shading...etc. However, lecturer said its all about the practice.

I hardly get the shape and the shading right. Will show you some of the good work done by some other students soon, so you can make the comparison. Mine was awful. [oh no no...]

Feelings

Was hoping this feeling will go away. It might give me a big trouble. I wanted to tell out, but do not think is wise choice.

22.12.93.56.55.56.39.59.21.31.51.64.64.26.35.66.48.70.89.110.102.43.83.105.115.76.68.68

If you understand the series of number, you will know what i mean.

眼泪笑了

比想象中更痛 你真的没回头
我命令眼泪不许失控
回忆不跟你走 都挤在我心中
我就有责任让它值得被珍重

谢谢你曾让我难过
谢谢我没有想太多
当爱情左盼右顾的时候

我眼泪都笑了 谁还想哭呢
再勇敢的站着 找回光和热
面对你的时候 我不会舍不得
因为你已是过客 因为路有些曲折
是美的

你眼泪都笑了 谁还会哭呢
来不及完美的 就唱首骊歌
想起你的时候 我不是卑微的
反而我没有遗憾 因为我已爱过你
深深的
心碎成了沙漠 就快开凿绿洲
我没有时间不知所措
你温柔的双手 本就不属于我
又何必在乎它以后属于谁呢

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寂寞光年

是谁从我天空摘走了星星
一转眼　眉头聚满乌云
从来快乐悲伤都自己判刑
忘了我也值得被关心
一双手一个梦
一路上不断的俯冲
痛到忘了要怎么喊痛
漫长的寂寞淹没我的难过
我的世界是零下的沙漠
其实我也想要拥抱的温柔
融化这颗坚强的泡沫
漫长的等候让人特别失落
锋锐寂寞把天空都割破
还有谁能够紧握着我的手
陪着我期待消失的彩虹
是谁将阳舛技舫闪擞甑?
天灰了　快乐总有限期
从来都陷在孤独的流沙里
忘了我也配被人在意
一个人一直走看着梦像做了又空
精疲力尽有没有哪里可以停泊
漫长的寂寞淹没我的难过
我的世界是零下的沙漠
其实我也想有拥抱的温柔
融化这颗坚强的泡沫
漫长的等候让人特别失落
锋锐寂寞把天空都割破
还有谁能够紧握着我的手
陪着我期待消失的彩虹
那是谁的温柔留在我的小手
微不足道却那么重
漫长的寂寞把意志都吞没
整个世界是沉默的漩涡
有谁能陪我手牵着手出走
带我离开空洞的星球
还有什么值得追求
还有什么可以拥有
把怀抱借给我是不是就不再颤抖
有谁能带走这美丽的哀愁
能让我相信被爱的理由

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*A very meaningful song.

Guys are hopeless

Girls are complicated.

Their thoughts. Their mind. Their actions.

I'm not sure what they are thinking at most of the times. Zero knowledge.

I want to relate this post to my past experience. A bad one.

Why guys got jealous? And why some guy don't?
I was often blamed, that I'm very possesive, controlling and [hmm] over-sensitive. To be very true here, I'm uncomfortable with guys kept having 'physical contact' with girls. Mainly, because I think guys should have certain respect to the girls and respect oneself as a guy either. Somehow, I was called closed minded.

Take this scenario as an example:
During one of the days, a group of close friends are having a gathering at night. Those usual, small gathering among few close friends, for a pillow talk session. [Yeap] There were boys and girls as well. Probably around a 30minutes talk later, one of the guy started to gave massage to one of the girls. To be more specific, foot massage. And a while later, the girl lied facing down, and the guy started to massage the back.
Thoughts:
[Hmm] For those which you call yourself 'open-minded', yea, this might not seem to be anything wrong. Furthermore, the girl allowed the guy to do the massage, don't she. As yeah, I almost forgotten, they are all close friends. So, what's wrong with it?
There's no such things as I massage her as a friend. [wth] It's only what I call, taking advantage. You can go massage your sister or your mom, I do not care. But touching some other girls, is something pretty disturbing in a way. You may say, "hey, they do it in overseas.". Yea, it's overseas, its their culture, their norm. In Malaysia, we don't do that, living in Malaysia, respect girls as for what they are. [God damn it, hate those type of guys.]

To relate me in the scenario is, the girl was someone I liked before. And the guy was someone who knew me pretty well and knew I like her. And yet, doing it in front of me, is something pretty disturbing and upset me. After sharing the story here, I would like to reconsider calling myself that I am jealous, which I think again, it was just something which pissed me off.

Girls, guys know guys better. You think guys are so innocent and good that they want to massage for you? Why not massage a guy? It's just purely taking advantage.

Guys and girls do still need to keep a certain distance, and a certain degree of respect. However, it's a whole new different aspect if the girl and the guy have some sparks going on. I can't comment much on that, but yet, still need to keep a certain behaviour and not going over-doing things.

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*This is just my thoughts, my views, my believes. If any of my readers there do have any opinions, I would be glad to hear. [fug those asshole guys anyway, thinking about them, pissing me off again]

TAG

If you are tagged, answer these 14 questions.

1. Besides your lips, where is the favorite spot to get kissed?
hmm... its for her to find out. :p

2.How did you feel when you woke up this morning?
feel like singing in the bathroom =.="

3.Who was the last person/people you took a photo with?
Can't remember. Erm, Yuri? Yipin? Weijia? Mel?

4.Would you consider yourself spoiled?
not yet. wanted to.

5.Will you ever donate blood?
Yeap, donated once. Got all dizzy, and felt like vomiting.

6.Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
I don't believe in "best close friends" with opposite sex, there's definitely sparks, but taking a close friendship bond as an excuse to get near each other.

7.Do you want someone to be dead?
Now, yes. There's few.

8.What does your last text message say?
Johnson at my place liao. Waiting for you, ghost movie.

9.What are you thinking right now?
I'm thinking how to answer these blardy questions. Hungry~

10. Do you want someone to be with you now?
Yes, definitely.

11.What was the time you went to bed last night?
1.15am

12.Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now?
Free from SONY.

13.Is someone on your mind right now?
Yesh. Heehee :p

Who was the last person who text you?
Melvin

TEN LUCKY Person to do this quiz.

1. Yuri
2. Melvin
3. Yipin
4. Weijia
5. Chua
6. Hann Yang
7. Kok Wai
8. Wai Lun
9. Sotong
10. Lex

15. Who is no.2[Melvin] having a relationship with?
Addriana!!!! :p lovely.

16. Is no. 3[yipin] a male or a female?
Somehow, he change according to his mood. =.=" Looks pretty man, eat food faster than cookie monster, but walk like a female model, like to dress like one. Thus, in conclusion, probably fifty fifty mixed gender. [wth]

17. If no.7[kok wai] and no.1[Yuri] get together, would it be good?
Erm, we will never know, will we? I'm imagining...hmm....yea, somehow quite a good combination. Yuri's a beauty, Kok wai a beauty hunter, yea, not bad at all. What do you guys think? good?

18. What is no.1 studying about? [Yuri]
Ehh, she is studying Multimedia design in TOA, considering whether she should change to advertising instead. hmmm.....

19. when was the last time you chatted with them?
1. Yuri - yesterday night
2. Melvin - midnight
3. Yipin - Late evening
4. Weijia - Late evening
5. Chua - yesterday afternoon
6. Hann Yang - yesterday afternoon
7. Kok Wai - yesterday afternoon
8. Wai Lun - yesterday afternoon
9. Sotong - yesterday afternoon
10. Lex - yesterday afternoon

20. Is no. 4[weijia] single?
Heehee, yeap, still available. But seems like someone has already taken his moves. Weijia, beware... :p

21. Say something about no.2. [ melvin ]
hmm, loves adrianna. wat else? misses adrianna. haha :p
nah, nice person. Able to bring some noice into the class. Joker. Play good basketball. From Malacca. [Hmm] Still have room to improve as a person.

22.What do you think about no. 2[melvin] and no. 6[hannyang] being together?
Together as friends, should be fine. Furthermore, they are from the same high school. If more than that, I really don't want to know.

23. Describe no.9. [Sotong]
Hmm..okkkaaayy...this is tough. Why do i put him as number 9? [gosh] I'm going to be real truthful here. [Sotong, hope you dont get offended, sorry] Erm, Sotong can be real nice sometimes if he wanted to. Somehow, he seldom do that. I just don't understand why he always likes to disturb people. One of the few common things he does, block peoples walk paths, annoys people, etc. Character wise, yea, very confident with himself, good in art, good looking, definitely have many girls falling for him. If he can change a lil abt his character, definitely a great man. Otherwise, I could say, wasted potential.

24. What will you do if no.6[hannyang] and no.7[kok wai] fight?
Definitely will end with a peace fight. Both are very gentle people.

25. Do you like no.8[wailun]?
Yeap, nice person to be with. Not the typical penang people type. He seems to be in love with someone now, i feel the heat.

Adobe Illustrator Artwork - Iron Man

Actual Iron Man Poster

Computer Drawn Image

Iron Man Outline

Completed Coloured Iron Man

My very first computer drawn cartoon character. Spent the whole night on it, and being very satisfied with the final result.

CHANGE

The word "change" really meant a lot to me this time. A lot of things has been changing, from the very outer part of me till deep inside my soul. Had been thinking whether its a good change or a bad change, but its something I want myself to change. Somehow, I don't have the feeling of missing my past. Something I don't mind losing it.

It's been rather a good and interesting 7 weeks in my new environment. Things had been well controlled so far. Probably everything's still good when it's new. Well, I am expecting things to differ by the next semester. Can't really forecast what's up next, but we can only pray for the best.

Felt quite good on writing this post. It's relaxing, even there's still piles of work needed to be completed within the next few days. Yet, taking my time out, spilling words on my blog which has been neglected for the past few days. Anyway, back to the real topic, Change. Did the way i write my post change?

Recently, I had been hanging on the phone with some old friends for quite a long time. Talking regarding me, and things I wanted to share, my thoughts. I knew I'm changing, no longer some one I would call "nice". It's really true from the batman story, "It's either you die as a Hero, or you live long enough to see yourself turning into a villain.". Of course, I wouldn't call myself as a Hero, but I think those who knew me knew I was good, or some of them even said 'too good'. I hardly say no to anyone. And I really those appreciate those who really helped me during times I needed them the most. Even it's just a little, my gratitude was countlessly huge.

I started to hate people now. I started to want to take revenge on people. I started to feel it's unfair of how good people was treated. I won't kill, I won't hit, I don't do crimes and evil, but I hope and curse you to the worst. I started to think what's good left on this place we are all sharing. Call me close minded, I don't care. But I failed in something I wanted to do most, inspiring people to be good. Bad people live better. Am i wrong?

How I looked today, was strokes by different brushes from the past. Bad strokes produce bad drawings. The thing is I am changing, for something that I lost faith in.

Featured Photos of The Month(17/6/2009)

Weird Dreams~

[Ahh], haven't been able to update my blog for quite some time. Just lose the motivation sometimes. Anyway, weird things have been happening to me recently, even in my dreams.

I got a very frightening dream about 2 days ago. Will elaborate later on that on the next post. However, the dream that happened to me today is pretty silly. I think most of us here have at least one person that you hated the most. Some one that you really, really hate, and wish to just kill[not really kill, but you should get what I mean]. Imagine you and the person you hate in a boxing ring,... boxing. [weird~] And no matter how hard you hit him or her, he or she won't fall[god damn it!]. Then, usually in boxing, they have this big red coloured glove. Instead of that, each of us are holding on to a balloon, quite high quality one and punching it to the face, and it still wont blow. It function like the big red coloured glove. [what the hell~~]

Yeap, that's what happened to me. Me and the person I hate the most, fighting in the most silliest wat I could ever think of.

[god damn it] Pretty emo now, since I can't hit her down the ground. [sigh]

Photo Updates

Caught some people going on a date... :p

Lawyer presenting a court session

Jennifer

Chee Kong

Subway - Makan Session